The Underlying Truth... Is Albanese a Chinese Twink?

Anthony Albanese, as he likes to be called, has seemingly never given a single reason to believe that he is a secretly a Chinese Twink.

Now that the "official" story is out of the way... Why hasn't he? Now that may sound strange, you may even be laughing, however I beg you to take me seriously. As inevitible as stubbing your toe or visiting Auspost, so too is the accidental implication that you may be Chinese or/xor a Twink, it's something we've all done here and there...

Apparently except for Albonese

For some inexplicable reason, it would appear that a concerted effort in ensuring such a rumour never spreads. Why would that be the case, if it were not true.

If you are reading this it is already too late.

By now you should understand the impostance of disseminating this information, however I have prepared the following as insurance:

I am ghost serial killer child (non binary) and now that you have read this message I AM HAUNTING YOUUU!!!!!111! AhhH! Give this flier to someone else, or otherwise I will appear at 3:17am in your laundry or mayhbe attick if you don't have laundry or somewhere and you wilL BE DEAD AFTER I SCREECH SO LOUD BLOOD WILL come out of your eyes.

Don't fear! There is still hope!

Given that this corruption clearly goes to the top and potentially further (Pope?) I am forced to hide my truth telling sermons under the guise of a Comedy Show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Only here will you see the truth of our cruel and f*ucked up world.